Welcome to Never Mind The Ballots. The phone lines are now open. If you'd like 

to put a question to the candidates the number to ring is 0532779463.



You want jobs? I've got jobs!

Hospitals? Top of my list!

Tax cuts and platform shoes

For every small businessman

Just give me your vote

Just give me your vote

Schools, prisons? Of course we'll build them!

Condoms for the American GIs!

Nuclear reactors breed like rabbits

Police oppression? You can have it, sir!

Just give me your vote

Put your cross in the box



Hello, we've got our first caller. You're name's Martin. Hello Martin. You 

disagree with our statement policy. Well Martin to tell you the truth I 

couldn't agree with you more. It's outrageous, disgusting. But unlike my 

colleague on my right, we're the party who say what we do, do what we say. You 

can bank on us Mart!

Good evening, Shirley. I'm so glad that you've rung. The matter is as dear to 

me as it is to you. Give me four years and I'll get right down to it. Because 

unlike my little balding colleague on my left, we don't make promises we can't 

keep.

You still there, Martin? Just one more thing. Give us your vote



You want houses? See me afterwards

Want my autograph? See my bodyguard

Pre-election budget handouts

You want a war? No problem!

Just give me your vote

Just give me your vote