Doctors today are doing incredible things

They can rebuild your knees with implanted metal and springs

If you're losing your hair or need intensive care ...

Each day's morning paper, a new development brings



Doctors today have really progressed

Our medical care is surely the best

For every disease there's a diagnostic test

But when they come up with the cure for heartache

When they come up with the cure for heartache

When they come up with the cure for heartache

... then I'll be impressed



Doctors today can add 15 years to your life

And when your skin starts to sag you can always go under the knife

If your cat makes you sneeze or your dog gives you fleas

Why there's even a pill to help a man make love to his wife



Doctors today have really progressed

Our medical care is surely the best

For every disease there's a diagnostic test

But when they come up with the cure for heartache

When they come up with the cure for heartache

When they come up with the cure for heartache

... then I'll be impressed



Someday there'll be an answer for each kind of cancer

And when it happens, I'll offer a toast

But the kind of cure of which I'm less sure

Is the one that the world needs the most