I've been going out with a girl, 

her name is Julie 

But last night she said to me, 

when we were watching telly 



(This is what she said) 



She said listen John, I love you 

But there's this bloke, I fancy 

I don't want to two time you, 

so it's the end for you and me 



Who's this bloke I asked her 

Goooooordon, she replied 

Not THAT puff, I said dismayed

Yes but he's no puff she cried



(He's more of a man than you'll ever be)



Here we go, two three four



I was so upset that I cried, 

all the way to the chip shop



When I came out there was Gordon, 

standing at the bus stop 



(And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me)



Oh, she is cruel and heartless 

to pack me for Gordon 

Just cos he's better looking than me 

Just cos he's cool and trendy 



But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron 

Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron



Here we go, two three four



Oh she's a slag and he's a creep

She's a tart, he's very cheap

She is a slut, he thinks he's tough

She is a bitch, he is a puff

Yeah yeah, it's not fair

Yeah yeah, it's not fair



(I'm so upset)



I'm so upset, I'm so upset, yeah yeah



(I ought to smash his face in.)



(Yeah, but he's bigger than me. In't he?)



(I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him. He'd flatten him)



(Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e?)



(Oh well, I don't care)



I don't care

I don't care

Cause she's a slag and he's a creep

she's a tart, he's very cheap

she is a slut, he thinks he's tough......