I stopped into the shop while I was making my home

I bought credit for my phone
And a honeycomb Toblerone

And this big fat chick behind the counter
Looks me up and down
She's foaming at the mouth
Man she's checking me out

She says "Excuse me man, but would you like, to go out for a meal tonight"
So I says yaa, chalk it down
She took me out for dinner in the Horse and Hound

We had a BLT, a cuppa tea, she scootched her stool pure close to me
She runs her big fat fingers up my skinny little thighs
Says "let's go back to mine"

Now, is she an ugly bird?
Or a big fat ride
Ah man I can't decide
So I sniffed some glue, to clear my head
Then rode her rotten on her mothers bed

A bag for me, a bag for you
Let's get wrecked on bags of glue!

Cause there's no way I'm riding you
Unless I'm wrecked on bags of glue!

She has a big fat ass, but she has no class
And I could do better, but I think I'll pass
Cause I can't resist, when she insists
To stuff her mouth with chicken every time we kiss

This love we have, there's no respect
But she's a big fat fucker, what does she expect?
I'm hypnotized, by her puffy eyes
And her sixteen chins and her massive thighs
With expensive food that'll give her gout
She's the ketchup, I'm the chicken wings
My queen, and I'm the burger king
But man you see I just can't seem to ride her when I'm sober,
So I sniff a dirty bag of glue and then I bend that fat bird over

A bag for me, a bag for you
Let's get wrecked on bags of glue!

Cause there's no way I'm riding you
Unless I'm wrecked on bags of glue!

She's got these manky saggy granny tits,
The kind you'd find on Annie Fitz,
A dirty slut with a big fat butt
Eating too many chips from the chicken hut
But if you think that you might like a fat bird of your own
I got a three step plan, but follow it man
When you get that fat bird home
Step one get a bag and fill it with glue
Step two sniff till your face turns blue
Step three relax, enjoy the ride, and let the UHU do what it do to your mind

But just make sure you throw away the bag when you are done
Cause if you have my luck then you'll wake up stuck
To your girlfriends big fat bum,

A bag for me, a bag for you
Let's get wrecked on bags of glue!

Cause there's no way I'm riding you
Unless I'm wrecked on bags of glue!

Said a bag for me, a bag for you
Let's get wrecked on bags of glue!