Every Friday night I go to bubba's hardware store

and give the secret knock on the private stockroom door

good ol' boys are shootin craps playin' five card stud

hot lookin' women 

ice cold suds

this blonde was playin' poker

she was on a roll

I sat down beside her with my ace in the hole

I had to draw a jack to win

with a stright ace high

but win I drew that card

I kissed that pot goodbye



cause Im one jack off

here in my hand

I got an ace, a king, a queen, and a ten and

now Im in a jam

I was doin' fine till I pulled that nine

thats win I went soft

I was temptin fate with an ace high stright

but Im one jack off



Ive played with this deck so long its messin' with my mind

Ive heard it said to much of this it can make a man go blind

I can't let her beat me but I aint got a pray

Im sure shes got a real good hand

I see shes got a pair

I stared accross the table

holdin' that cheap call

then win she raised me

well I dang near lost it all

I tried to pull it out figurin' Id bluff

but win I showed her what I had

she said to bad your one jack off



Im just one jack off

aint that great

she said nice try but not to quick and an ace dont make a stright

I said how about another round

she said adie up there hoss

she took all my money

and Im still one jack off



Im one jack off

just my luck

she won my favorite pair of cowboy boots

and the pink slip to my truck

I knew Id have to come again next week

to get back what I lost

thats the story of my life

its seems Im always one jack off



thats right



one jack off