Parody of "Where the Green Grass Grows" by Tim McGraw (Jess Leary/Craig Wiseman), Song Matters Inc. (ASCAP)/Leary's Tavern Music (ASCAP)/Daddy Rabbit Music (ASCAP)/Famous Music Corp(ASCAP)/Almo Music Corp. (ASCAP) 

New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC) 



(Coughs)

Ahhhh…uh

Oh (coughs)

AHHHCHOOOOOO



Ah my head feels as big as a dad blang basketball

It's a shame I'm a sight

Red eyes itchy both day and night

My head's all stuffed up tight again



Oh no spring's back

Another dang allergy attack

I bought some Sudafed 

And took the whole dern pack

And I still can't breathe and I cough and I hack



I want to live where the grass don't grow

I'm sick and tired of blowin my nose

Never again will you hear me go ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So much congestion in my chest

Doctor's said that it might be best

For me to move where the pollen count is low

Where the grass don't grow



I wonder if Tim McGraw's got any of that snifflin night time

Sneezin achin stuffy head coughin

Wake up on the top of your tour bus medicine for me

(coughs)



I sold my leaf blower

My two horsepower push mower

Won't see me outdoors this time of year

(coughs)

This ragweed is a getting rough

My hay fever is getting tough

I'm all out of Vicks Vapo Rub

And there's dust everywhere

And enough is enough



I want to live where the grass don't grow

A big high rise or a small condo

If I never blow again it'll be too soon

Won't ever touch another garden tool

I'll sip Margueritas by the swimming pool

There will be one less seed I'll have to sew

Where the grass don't grow



(Coughs and sneezes)

:Oh my head

Here we go



I want to live where the grass don't grow

It's killing me here where the mulch blowers blow

I've tried everything I know to do

Can't keep the sneezin cough suppressed

Try to give my sinuses a rest

I'm going to go where the pollen count is low

Where the grass don't grow



(Sneezes and coughs till end)